Stenches, Stares and in a Slump =(

20 March 2011

            So, for the past week or so, I feel as though I have made a HUGE mistake; as if everyone lied to me about how wonderful Europe is.  I am homesick to say the least.  I am tired of seeing dog poop everywhere I go, smelling everyone that walks by, being constantly and relentlessly stared at, and the cold and rainy weather. 

            I miss my home.  Not South Carolina per se, but my family, my friends, people who speak English, not always feeling like a foreigner, not feeling lost and out of place, etc.  I have been feeling more and more frustrated as I try to communicate on the “rue” (street).  I feel as though I will NEVER understand all the weird phrases of “français familier” (street-speak) and like my assimilation into the French culture is impossible.

            I know that my current sentiments are part of the process of studying abroad, as all of my friends seem to be going through a similar slump.  It is nice to have them to talk to about how I am feeling, but I am still somehow alone and disillusioned.  I feel as though the wonder and enchantment of France has worn off and I am beginning to see everything through new eyes in a different light.  I am no longer amused by their strikes, smoking, staring, and lack of knowledge about deodorant.

            Now before you judge me for judging the French and for generalizing their actions, let me say that this is solely my perspective at this point in time.  I am hoping that the wonder and excitement of France that gripped me upon my arrival will soon return. 

            I will now explain some of the phenomena that exist in France.  First, people do not clean up after their dogs….they just let them do their business right on the sidewalk and keep walking.  Second, there seems to be a lack of basic knowledge about personal hygiene (or at least a lack of deodorant); this is not to say that everyone smells unpleasant, but I will say that I have many more encounters with stinky humans here than I do in the States.  Third, the French stare at everyone, anywhere, anytime and think nothing of it.  I have spoken with my host mom about this and she explained to me that it is simply a part of their culture to stare and that they don’t “usually” mean anything by it (Gee thanks mom…that was reassuring).  Fourth, it is cloudy and rainy at least 3-4 times a week; and as of late, cold too.  I am finally starting to adjust to the cold weather (I haven’t worn my long johns in a few weeks now), but it is still not what the kind of weather that I have grown accustomed to in South Carolina. Fifth, the French are VERY outspoken and blunt people.  If you do something wrong, they will call you out on it immediately, regardless of who is around you.  This is not to say that they intend to be rude or hurt your feelings in any way (I have learned that they generally have no wish to publicly humiliate you), but simply that they speak their mind and do not think of your feelings.

            I suppose that is all for now.  Don’t worry friends and family, I am not miserable, just a bit disillusioned and in a funk with France at the moment.